10 Tips to Win Your Husband's Heart

Every wife can win her husband's heart and become one of the closest people to him if she treats him well, understands his mind, and accepts his flaws, for perfection belongs solely to Allah Almighty.

Every wife can sow the seeds of marital happiness and reap all good if she makes her home a sanctuary defined by love and mercy, guided by the words of Allah Almighty: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." (Ar-Rum: 21).

Al-Hafiz Ibn Kathir said: Affection (Al-Mawaddah) is love, and mercy (Al-Rahmah) is compassion. A man keeps his wife either out of love for her or out of mercy for her, especially if they have children together.

These lines offer every wife 10 tips to win her husband's heart and mind:

1. Understand His Personality:

First, get to know your husband's personality. Learn: his likes and dislikes, his strengths and weaknesses. Learn the keys to his personality, what makes him happy, and what upsets him. This will give you the first threads of marital happiness.

2. Avoid Control:

Do not try to control your husband or his life, or ask about every little detail. This can cause annoyance and resentment and might turn your home into a battleground. Instead, make him feel like a king in his own home, where he finds peace and tranquility, and yearns to return to, rather than escape from.

3. Eliminate Sources of Conflict:

Try to remove anything that disturbs the serenity of your married life. For example, if your husband dislikes late meals, be mindful of that and avoid making this mistake. Put yourself in his shoes and see things from his perspective. He might be right, and then you'll get to the root of the problem before it escalates.

4. Speak Kindly and Show Affection:

Be sure to use kind words and smile in his face. Ease his burdens of life and work with a gentle touch or a warm kiss. Understand the pressures weighing him down; you are his sanctuary in every sense of the word.

5. Handle His Anger Wisely:

Be careful not to escalate his anger. Give him a chance to calm down, then discuss matters at the appropriate time. This is a much better alternative than shouting, arguing back, or provoking him, which could make his anger uncontrollable. Remind both yourselves of Allah, seek refuge from the accursed Satan, and perform ablution (wudu) to protect your family from the repercussions of anger and marital disputes.

6. Understand His Financial Situation:

He might be under pressure, burdened by debt, or overwhelmed with expenses. Ease his burden, show your flexibility, and prioritize your needs. Tell him, "We can postpone this until next month," or "We can do without that," or even, "We can save this much." Your motto in this should be: "And eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess." (Al-A'raf: 31).

7. Be Flexible and Seek Middle Ground:

Be flexible and seek compromises, balancing your interests with your husband's. Maintain good communication with him and his family, and avoid imposing demands on him or constantly putting him under pressure.

8. Accept Your Differences:

Understand the natural differences between you and your husband, as a man's personality differs from a woman's in temperament and behavior. Don't compare him to anyone else, even if they are his closest relatives. Instead, praise his unique qualities and gently express what bothers you, trying to change any negative aspects of his personality calmly and thoughtfully.

9. Adorn Yourself for Him:

Adorn yourself for him, make him feel your beauty, approach him, and give him love. Do not refuse him except for a legitimate reason or illness. Fill his life with happiness, love, and chastity, for this helps him lower his gaze, protects his modesty, and keeps Satan away from your home.

10. Heed Wise Counsel:

We conclude with eloquent advice from one of the most eloquent Arab women, Umamah bint Al-Harith, who told her daughter before marriage: "Be to him a handmaiden, and he will be to you a servant. Submit to him with contentment, listen well, and obey. Let his eyes not fall upon anything ugly from you, and let him not smell anything but the sweetest scent from you. Be mindful of his sleep and food times, safeguard his wealth, and care for his children. Do not disobey his command, nor reveal his secret. Beware of showing joy in front of him if he is sad, and sadness in front of him if he is joyful."