Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as a Husband
Marriage in Islam, along with the structure and purpose of the family, differs
greatly from that in other religions—and even more so from man-made laws that
claim to protect women’s rights. Yet, the observable reality today points to an unprecedented
collapse of the family unit, threatening the very foundation of society.
Marriage in Islam is not a mere
contract between two parties for fulfilling temporary physical desires. Rather,
it is a solemn
covenant, as Allah the Almighty Described in His Book: {And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses
from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed
between you compassion and mercy.} [Ar-Rum 30:21]
And Allah the Almighty also
reproached those who attempt to reclaim the dowry after divorce when
peaceful cohabitation becomes impossible, saying: {If
you desire to replace a wife with another and you have given the former ˹even˺ a stack of gold ˹as a dowry˺, do not take any of it back. Would you ˹still˺ take it unjustly and very sinfully? And how could you take it
back after having enjoyed each other intimately and she has taken from you a
firm commitment?} [An-Nisa 4:20–21]
The Prophet’s Love for His Wives
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) was the best example of love within marriage. While many
men today are embarrassed even to mention their wives’ names in public, the
Prophet (peace be upon him) openly declared his love for his wife `A’isha (may
Allah be pleased with her) before his companions.
It was narrated that `Amr Ibn Al-`As
said: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is the most
beloved of the people to you?” He said: “`A’ishah.” It was said: “From the
men?” He said: “Her father.” (Reported
by Al-Bukhari)
`A’isha (may Allah be pleased
with her) also narrated: “The wives of the
Prophet sent Fatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah, to the Messenger
of Allah. She asked permission to enter when he was lying with me under my
cover. He gave her permission to enter, and she said: 'O Messenger of Allah,
your wives have sent me to you to ask you to be equitable with regard to the
matter of the daughter of Abu Quhafah.' I ('A’ishah) kept quiet and the
Messenger of Allah said to her: 'O my daughter! Do you not love the one whom I
love?' She said: 'Yes.' He said: 'Then love this one.'” (Reported by
Muslim)
The Prophet’s Kindness and Playfulness with His Wives
Many men excuse themselves from
spending time with their wives, claiming to be too busy. Yet, who was busier
than the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)? Despite his immense
responsibilities, he used to play with and show affection to his wives.
`A’isha (may Allah be pleased
with her) said: “I would eat flesh from a bone
when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Prophet (peace be upon him)
and he would put his mouth where I had put my mouth: I would drink, then hand
it over to him, and he would put his mouth( at the place) where I drank.” (Reported
by Muslim)
She also said: “God’s messenger and I used to wash from one vessel which
stood between us, and he would get ahead of me, so that I would say, ‘Give me a
chance, give me a chance.’” (Reported
by Muslim)
The Prophet’s Service in His Home
`A’isha (may Allah be pleased
with her) summarized the Prophet’s domestic life beautifully. Al-Aswad told that he asked `A'isha what the Prophet used to do in
his house, and she replied that he used to engage in the mihna, i.e. the
service, of his family, and when the time for prayer came he went out to
prayer. (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet’s Respect for Women’s Intellect
Some men belittle women’s
intellect and remember nothing from the Prophet (peace be upon him) except his
saying that women are “deficient in intellect and religion.” When facing a problem, they discuss it
with everyone but their wives—friends, relatives—leaving their wives confused
and alienated.
In contrast, the Prophet (peace
be upon him)—despite being the leader of the Ummah—consulted his wives in
serious matters and took their advice.
He acted upon the counsel of Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) during the Treaty of
Hudaybiyyah. When the Muslims and the disbelievers agreed that the Muslims
would not enter Makkah that year and would return the next, the Prophet (peace
be upon him) commanded his companions to slaughter their sacrificial animals
and shave their heads. But none of them obeyed after he repeated the command
three times.
The Prophet (peace be upon him)
entered upon Umm Salama and told her what had happened. She said: “O Prophet
of Allah, do you wish them to do so? Then go out, do not speak to anyone until
you slaughter your sacrificial animal and call your barber to shave your head.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him)
acted on her advice. When the Muslims saw what he did, they all began
slaughtering and shaving each other’s heads. (1)
The Prophet’s Patience During Marital Disagreements
No home—no matter how full of
love and harmony—is free of temporary problems. But such disagreements should
never escalate to destroy the household. Yet, many couples today rush to
divorce at the first sign of conflict or resort to harsh words and accusations.
Even the household of Prophethood experienced occasional disputes. An-Nu`man
ibn Bashir narrated: “When Abu Bakr asked the
permission of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to come in, he
heard 'Aisha speaking in a loud voice. So when he entered, he caught hold of
her in order to slap her, and said: Do I see you raising your voice to the Messenger
of Allah? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) began to prevent him
and Abu Bakr went out angry. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said
when Abu Bakr went out: You see I rescued you from the man. Abu Bakr waited for
some days, then asked permission of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
be upon him) to enter, and found that they had made peace with each other. He
said to them: Bring me into your peace as you brought me into your fight.” (Musnad
Ahmad)
You Can Also Read:
- Book Review: “Prophetic Guidelines for Protecting the Muslim Family”
- 4 Unique Marital Rulings of Prophet Muhammad
- Allah Hears Your Complaint
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(1) Ibn Hisham, Al-Sirah Al-Nabawiyyah,
vol. 3, p. 337.
