At no point throughout human history has woman ever been absent from being a worker. The notion that a woman being at home means she is not working is a deficient perception that needs correction and rectification. Household service for her family and children is an act of obedience to Allah, and a noble mission.
Allah has enabled women to perform tasks that men cannot bear, and enabled men to perform tasks that women cannot handle. This is part of the balance and complementarity between man and woman.
There are also types of work through which a woman can earn money that may enrich her, assist her with her living expenses, or contribute to her freedom and independence from others.
However, there are other types of work through which a woman may not earn money or a wage, yet she may find that toil and fatigue sweet when it is for the sake of someone she loves and cares for, and for the sake of pleasing Allah, who will grant her abundant reward in the Hereafter and recompense her with the greatest reward.
These works are embodied in the domestic tasks within the marital home: aiding the husband and children, attending to their needs, and fulfilling them.
Although these acts are commonly and customarily performed by women, they are never devoid of reward in the Hereafter, and beforehand, they bring blessing into the marital life.
The noble lady, Fatimah Az-Zahra’, set the greatest example in this regard; she served her husband and children under harsh and difficult circumstances, lived a life of hardship, and had little means.
She was fully aware of what was required of her in terms of work and service, for our master Ali ibn Abi Talib said to his mother Fatimah bint Asad: “She will spare you the tasks within the house: kneading, baking, and grinding.” (1)
These tasks exhausted and fatigued her, and this was evident in her body and appearance, to the point that her husband was affected by seeing her in such a state, and he suggested to her that she go to her father, the Prophet ﷺ, to ask for assistance. He said to her: “Why don`t you go to the Prophet (ﷺ) and ask him for a servant, for grinding corn and work have exhausted you” (2)
She recognized the extent of her exhaustion and expressed it to her husband, saying: “And I, by Allah, have ground flour until my hands became sore.”
So she went to the Prophet ﷺ. He said: “What brings you here, O my daughter?” She replied: “I have come to greet you;” and she felt too shy to ask him, so she went back. (3)
Here, the wife’s exhaustion from her household chores, the husband’s tenderness and sensitivity toward her condition, and the father’s awareness of her situation are all clear. However, the situation remained unchanged. He instructed her to be patient, continue her work, and not forget her duty toward her Lord, saying: “Fear Allah, Fathimah and perform the duty of your Lord and do the work of your family.” (4)
Marital Relationship: Duties and Rights
The Husband's Satisfaction
This was not the case for the noble Fatimah alone; the female Companions also shared in this. They preferred pleasing their husbands and assisting them over seeking comfort and rest. For instance, Asma’ bint Abi Bakr, the daughter of the wealthy merchant, married Az-Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam, who had no real property or any slave or anything else except a camel which drew water from the well, and his horse. She said: “I used to feed his horse with fodder and drew water and sew the bucket for drawing it, and prepare the dough, but I did not know how to bake bread. So our Ansari neighbors used to bake bread for me, and they were honorable ladies. I used to carry the date stones on my head from Zubair's land given to him by Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and this land was two third Farsakh (about two miles) from my house.”
She added: “(I continued serving in this way) till Abu Bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, whereupon I felt as if he had set me free.” (5)
These deeds and others similar, widely reported among the Qurayshi women, prompted the Prophet ﷺ to praise them by saying: “The best of the women who ride on camels are the good women of Quraish, for they are the most affectionate to small children and the most careful of what belongs to their husbands.” (6)
Indeed, the Prophet ﷺ used to check on the conditions of women and observe their relations with their husbands. Al-Husayn ibn Mihsan reported that his aunt came to the Prophet ﷺ on some errand. Once she had finished, the Prophet ﷺ said to her: “Do you have a husband?” She said: “Yes.” He asked: “How are you with him?” She replied: “I spare no effort except where I am incapable.” He said: “See where you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.” (7)
Some women may consider their service to their husband and children as something small and feel that they are falling short in their devotion to Allah regarding voluntary prayers, fasting, Qur'an recitation, and so on.
The Status of Jihad
In fact, some women look at the deeds of men, such as jihad, and grieve over missing out on such great rewards. They forget that if they are patient and supportive of their husbands, serving and assisting them, they attain an equal reward. It was narrated that Jabir ibn Abdullah said: “While we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, a woman came and said: 'Peace be upon you, O Messenger of Allah. I am a representative of the women to you. Allah is the Lord of men and women, and Adam is the father of men and women. Allah sent you to men and women alike. Men, when they go out for jihad in the cause of Allah and are killed, they are alive with their Lord, provided for, rejoicing in what Allah has granted them. When they go out, they earn the rewards we know about. But we stay at home serving them. What reward do we get?'
The Prophet ﷺ said: 'Convey my greetings to the women and tell them: Obedience to the husband equals all that, but few among you do it.'” (8)
Thus, the woman who exerts extra effort during Ramadan to make her husband and children happy, and does so sincerely seeking reward from Allah, is in a state of worship.
This is the case for most women of the Ummah. However, if her husband or someone else relieves her from the burden of housework by providing a servant, she should be grateful to him and seek other ways to draw closer to Allah through pleasing and obeying her husband.
I’m Not Obligated to Anything!
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(1) Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah in Al-Musannaf (8/156).
(2) Part of Hadith (1250) reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad; graded as authentic by Shaykh Shu'ayb Al-Arna'ut with a good chain.
(3) Part of Hadith (838) reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad; its chain was graded as good by Shaykh Shu'ayb Al-Arna'ut.
(4) Part of a hadith reported by Abu Dawud in Al-Kharaj, Chapter: Clarification on the Distribution of the Fifth and the Share of Close Relatives, Hadith (2988); graded weak by Shaykh Al-Albani in Da'if Sunan Abi Dawud.
(5) Part of a hadith reported by Al-Bukhari in the Book of Marriage, Chapter on Jealousy, Hadith (5224).
(6) Reported by Al-Bukhari in the Book of Expenditures, Chapter on A Woman Guarding Her Husband’s Property and Spending, Hadith (5365).
(7) Reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad, Hadith (19003); its chain is considered potentially good by Shaykh Shu'ayb Al-Arna'ut.
(8) Reported by Ibn Abi Dunya in Al-'Iyal, Hadith (528); Shaykh Najm Abdul-Rahman Khalaf considered its chain good.
