Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: The First Brick in the Foundation of Revelation
In the
heart of Mecca, where the markets buzzed with the voices of prominent male
merchants and their servants promoting goods brought from the farthest corners
of the Arabian Peninsula—either to trade and profit, or to prepare caravans
departing the Sacred Land toward distant regions, carrying Meccan merchandise
and large sums of money to purchase everything new during the winter and summer
journeys stood a woman unlike no one.
She
combined noble lineage, wealth, intelligence, and sharp insight—qualities that
made her a true equal in a male-dominated society that buried girls alive
simply for being females. Through merit and dignity, she earned universal
respect. She was a beautiful woman of wealth, fine character, human excellence,
generosity, wisdom, and compassion—alongside remarkable success in trade and in
managing her inherited fortune.
She was
the woman chosen to be the partner of the Prophet (peace be upon him) during the most difficult stages of the mission
(da`wah). She belonged to Banu Asad Ibn `Abd Al-`Uzza, one of the clans of
Kinana.
Ibn Ishaq
described her as “a woman of honor and wealth” (1)—the first to
support, the first to believe, the first to give of her time and wealth, and
the third woman to attain perfection in humanity after Asiya, the wife of
Pharaoh, and Maryam, followed later by her daughter Fatimah (may Allah be
pleased with them all). She met her Lord while Jibril (peace be upon him)
conveyed the greetings of Allah to her and gave her glad tidings of a palace in
Paradise built of jewels wherein there will be neither any noise nor any
fatigue.
Welcome
to the story of Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid.
Allah Heard the Voice of Her Heart
Is it
permissible for a strong woman to be drawn to a man or admire him and express a
desire to marry him?
Islamic Shari`a
did not forbid human emotions nor wage
war against them. Rather, it came to refine and guide them toward their lawful
and natural path as ordained by Allah. There is no permissible outlet for such
feelings except marriage. Islam did not prohibit emotions—it prohibited acting
upon them outside their proper framework.
Customarily,
a woman is desired rather than desiring, sought rather than seeking, modest in
her chamber until someone knocks on her guardian’s door. But what should she do
if her heart inclines toward someone worthy? There is no harm in seeking
marriage in a dignified and safe manner—one that neither compromises her honor
nor diminishes her status, especially when she is a woman of great standing.
The
Truthful and Trustworthy (peace be upon him)
had worked with her wealth alongside her servant Maysarah. After returning from
one of his trade journeys to Syria, she heard of his character and
integrity—qualities that impress every honorable woman—and her heart inclined
toward him (may Allah be pleased with her).
Ibn
Hisham narrates the story of this blessed marriage, saying: “She found in him
what she had long been seeking, at a time when noblemen were striving to marry
her and she refused them all. She wished that he might be her husband, and she
asked Allah for that—so Allah Answered her, even though she was not yet a Muslim.
She confided what was in her heart to her friend Nafisah Bint Umayyah, a wise
woman who knew how to handle such matters. Nafisah went to him and presented
Khadijah’s proposal as though it were her own suggestion. The Prophet (peace be
upon him) accepted, spoke to his uncles, and
the marriage was concluded.” (2)
Yes—there
is no harm in a guardian choosing a husband for his daughter if he sees in him what he does not
see in others. Nor is there any blame upon a woman for seeing a particular man
as her husband—so long as she preserves her modesty.
A Woman Who Helped Lay the Foundations of a State
When we
examine history, we find that nations and civilizations were built upon pillars
of men—armies, leaders, donors of wealth, time, effort, and even children.
These men were distinguished by wisdom, courage, generosity, ambition, and
above all, faith in their cause and its justice. The extent of their sacrifices
determined the magnitude of their achievements.
In the
great Islamic civilization, there were defining figures—men
and women alike. Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) preceded all of them
in sacrifice, generosity, patience, wisdom, warmth, and security.
She was
one of the pivotal figures in the history of the state—present at the very
first moment when heaven met earth in the descending of the revelation. Through
her wisdom and composure in a moment no ordinary human could endure, she gently
guided the Prophet of the Ummah toward his divine mission.
`A’ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) narrates the details of that moment which
altered the course of humanity: “…he went to
Khadija and said: Wrap me up, wrap me up! So they wrapped him till the fear had
left him. He then said to Khadija: O Khadija! what has happened to me? and he
informed her of the happening, saying: I fear for myself. She replied: It can't
be. Be happy. I swear by Allah that He shall never humiliate you. By Allah, you
join ties of relationship, you speak the truth, you bear people's burden, you
help the destitute, you entertain guests, and you help against the vicissitudes
which affect people. Khadija then took him to Waraqa b. Naufal b. Asad b. `Abd Al-`Uzza,
and he was the son of Khadija's uncle, i. e., the brother of her father. And he
was the man who had embraced Christianity in the Days of Ignorance (i. e.
before Islam) and he used to write books in Arabic and, therefore, wrote Injil
in Arabic as God willed that he should write. He was very old and had become
blind Khadija said to him: O uncle! listen to the son of your brother. Waraqa
b. Naufal said: O my nephew! what did you see? The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), then, informed him what he had seen, and Waraqa said to him: It is
namus that God sent down to Musa. Would that I were then (during your prophetic
career) a young man. Would that I might be alive when your people would expel
you! The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Will they drive me out? Waraqa
said: Yes. Never came a man with a like of what you have brought but met
hostilities. If I see your day I shall help you wholeheartedly.”
In
another narration: “The first thing with which
the revelation was initiated with the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon
him) except the words: By
Allah, Allah would never humiliate you.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari)
Thus,
Khadijah became the first sanctuary of the revelation.
The Cost of Being the Wife of a Preacher
All books
of Sirah agree that the Mother of the Believers Khadijah was the very first to embrace Islam. (3)
And because she was exceptional, her faith was exceptional—faith expressed
through sacrifice, wealth, patience, and total devotion.
She gave
her wealth and took care of their home’s affairs so the Prophet (peace be
upon him) could devote himself entirely to
conveying the message of his Lord. She was never a burden upon him—rather, she
was his greatest support. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said of her: “No one's
wealth has benefited me as Khadijah's wealth has benefited me.” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad)
Their
home represented the human and familial model for all of humanity. The Prophet (peace be
upon him) was human—needing the support and
companionship of a wife—and she was his refuge and security against the tyrants
of disbelief in Mecca.
`‘A’ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) was jealous of her, she said: “I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet
(peace be upon him) as much as I did of Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), although
I have never seen her, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to mention her very often.
Whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut it into pieces and send them to
the women friends of Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her). When I sometimes
said to him: You treat Khadijah in such a way as if there is no woman on earth
except her. He (peace be upon him) would say: Khadijah was such and such (commending her and speaking
well of her), and I had children from her.” (Narrated
by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
She did
not spare herself during the siege of Shi`b Abi Talib. Though she was noble and
untouchable among her people, she insisted on being one of the Muslims—enduring
hunger for three years without complaint or reproach, until many perished. (4)
The ordeal affected her health, and she passed away shortly
afterward—making the year of her death known as the Year of Sorrow.
The life
of the Mother of the Believers Khadijah is not merely a story to be taught to
girls in school curricula. It is a leadership model for men and women alike—a
model of the caller to Allah, the bearer of a mission, the mother, and the
wife. She combined firmness with gentleness, wisdom with purity, emotion with
strength.
Who can ever
be compared to Lady Khadijah?!
Also Read:
- How Did Prophet Muhammad Show Mercy to His Ummah?
- Great Mothers Who Changed the Course of History
- Psychological Insights of the Prophet’s ﷺ Marriage to Umm Salama
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References:
(1) As-Sirah An-Nabawiyyah,
Ibn Hisham, Vol. 1, p. 120
(2) Ibid. (1/113); Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtum, p. 60 (adapted)
(3) At-Tabaqat Al-Kubra, Vol. 1, p. 131
(4) As-Sirah An-Nabawiyyah, Ibn Hisham, Vol. 1, p. 350
